to be, or not to be

I just read this amazing talk given by Elder Lynn G. Robbins in the April 2011 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

It's called "What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?"

At one point in the talk, Robbins quotes Carol Dweck who said: 

"Never let failure progress from an action to an identity." 

 Robbins goes on to give some amazing parenting advice {definitely saving this article for when i'm a mom} about cultivating the be in children, not just the do.  As I was reading this, I realized that it doesn't only apply to parents.  I can be of some help to others by noticing and pointing out not just the good that they do, but the deeper characteristics that motivate their actions--who they are.

And about that quote--well, that's something I have a hard time with.  I'm sure a lot of people do.  But reading this talk reminded me that I am not my mistakes.  Sure, we all mess up once in a while.  No one's perfect.  But God never meant for us to let our weaknesses bring us down.  Just because I make one mistake, doesn't mean I'm a failure.  It just means... I made one mistake!  And I can forgive myself, move on, and learn from it... and diligently avoid making that mistake again.  

Just by realizing the difference between to be and to do, we can all gain hope for the future and motivation to change.  And change is important because what we do, over time, does inevitably determine who we become.  And vice-versa--who we are is the driving force behind most of our actions.  Moral of the story: do good, be good, and just keep swimming :)

Now that's beautiful.

peace.